Tuesday, January 16, 2007

An Acceptance Speech for the Ages

The only highlight of this year's particularly sleep-inducing Golden Globes ceremony was Sacha Baron Cohen's richly deserved win for Borat: Cultural Learnings of America For Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan (one of the greatest titles of cinematic history; it's almost a sacrilege to truncate it), one of last year's very best films. His acceptance speech was a thing of beauty, from which I will quote at length:

"I just want to say this movie was a life-changing experience. I saw some amazing, beautiful, invigorating parts of America, but I saw some dark parts of America, an ugly side of America that rarely sees the light of day. I refer, of course, to the anus and testicles of my co-star, Ken Davitian. Ken, when I was in that scene, and I stared down and saw your two wrinkled Golden Globes on my chin, I thought to myself: I better win a bloody award for this. And then, when my 300-pound co-star decided to sit on my face and squeeze the oxygen from my lungs, I was faced with a choice: death, or to breathe in the air that had been trapped in a small pocket between his buttocks for thirty years. Kenneth, if it was not for that rancid bubble, I would not be here today."

"...And thank you to every American who has not sued me so far."

Ken Davitian's priceless reaction shots were the cherry on top.

Oscar? Are you listening?

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